#ESMEINK : “Defining Me” Day 9

self2

{who am I?}

How can it be, that I’m still discovering who I am? Does that ever end? Or is it similar to growing to reach divine enlightenment? Something a spiritual person strives for every day. Becoming a warrior. When will I be ready to tell my story? What is my story? Everyone has one, how do I sum it up?

This is what I’m facing the past month. Getting dirty. Telling my story. Building a “brand”. Knowing whom I’d like to reach. Defining my mission and purpose. I think that it may be somewhat evolutionary, and a one-day-at-a-time type of journey. I also think I’m on my way. These journals are helping me break through barriers and nourishing my soul.

{Me}

I am a mother, a lover, a spiritual soul searching for a greater purpose, a glass-half-full kind of person. I love culture, food, mother earth, and all things strange. I’m competitive (mostly with myself). I love LOVE.  I dislike judgement. I have fears. I have regrets. I know my mistakes enable me to learn and grow. I love watching my children grow into beautiful little humans. I believe in the importance of what elders have to offer and teach, and the importance of instilling tradition and culture in my children. I think we (humans) have a certain duty to teach our young how to care for themselves, the earth, and their elders, and carry on traditions. I love the “togetherness of food” (culture). I use the word LOVE a  lot.

{self love}

Some of the things I love about myself in no particular order; I’m kind and soft spoken when necessary. I’m wild and free when I open up. I’m loyal. I’m a good listener. I don’t’ judge. I love all humans, and believe in the good of humanity. I’m spiritual, and want to grow. I’m athletic, and love mother earth. I”m able to grow and harvest food, and prepare and preserve it. When I set out to achieve something, I almost always do. I forgive easily. I love my work. I am looking forward to the future. Although we (humans) are creatures of habit, I embrace change fairly well. I am gaining confidence in saying “no” to the things I don’t want, and letting go of things and people in my life that do not serve me well. My self-confidence is growing daily.

{Name it, to change it -commitment}

Naming what sucks can be liberating. Today, I thought about going with procrastination, because it is something that’s always needed focus. However, the commitment I have to getting these daily journals posted it keeping me some what in check. So I’m going to go with books (but truly, commitment). I LOVE books. But, It’ s not often that I complete a book in it’s entirety. I get damn close most of the time. Even books I’m interested in! Needless to say, (I think?) I always end up picking up these books later, or think about finishing them. It drives me crazy. Maybe I just need to feed my brain what it needs at the moment, and change it up as my mind desires something different. But it drives me crazy. I lack follow through. I also lack time to read with having toddlers.

So, now I’m dedicated to finish the most recent book I started. I’m a quarter of the way through. I’m not going to give myself a timeline. Goals/timelines don’t always work out for me, but I’ll get it done.

I feel like the “book” is a metaphor for commitment. So, that being said, I commit to getting this book read. Interestingly, commitment is something that is rooted to the base chakra. Which is where I’m putting much of my focus lately. Funny how these things unfold as I write! Life is divine!

I leave today’s journal with an amazing quote by the amazing Jim Morrison;

“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.”

-Jim Morrison

#ESMEINK Journal Entry by Lise-Marie Johnson

 

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